A Confusingly Intricate Story: A Review of "The Shadow of the Wind"

I finished the first book in my stack of summer reading.  Or, perhaps I should say, I FINALLY finished the book that happened to be on the top of my stack for the summer, but which I had really been reading since early January - a 480 page block of tangled plot lines and 15+ primary characters known as The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruiz Zafon.

First, some background on how I got this book.  I acquired this book through a coworker who, upon learning that I had recently finished The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, suggested that I borrow it on the basis that I must like "books about books."  And sure, I do like books about books.  The problem though, and the reason that I immediately felt a surge of "uh oh" sweep over me, is that I take a LONG time to read books - especially books that I didn't necessarily choose to read.  People...I borrowed this book in October.  OCTOBER.  It is now June.  That is how long it takes me to read books that people lend me.  I tried to warn my coworker, but she insisted that I take it.  So I took it.

Now, some background on the general plot.  The Shadow of the Wind is set in Barcelona in the 1930s/40s, and opens when a young boy named Daniel is taken by his father to a place called "The Cemetery of Forgotten Books" by his father, a bookseller.  There, Daniel finds a book called "The Shadow of the Wind," written by a man named Julian Carax, and takes it home with him.  He loves the book, and decides to find out more about its author.  Soon enough, Daniel encounters a mysterious shadowy figure with a completely scarred face who warns him not to pursue Julian Carax's history, lest horrible things befall him.  Given this obviously cheery encounter, Daniel decides to keep up his search for information about Carax, taking up with a local homeless man and unwisely pursuing a romantic relationship with the betrothed sister of his best friend.  

From there the great (and greatly complex) story of Julian Carax begins to unfold in an A-plot/B-plot style, with the A-plot set in the present with Daniel and the B-plot set in the past with Carax and company.  I found this to be a bit confusing.  The publisher attempts to distinguish between the now-story and the then-story by italicizing entire chapters of the B-plot, which just gave me a headache.  It didn't really help that the names are super-confusing for someone who doesn't speak Spanish.  You've got your Fermin's and your Francisco Fumero's and your Fernando's, your Montfort's and your Miquel Moliner's, and your Don-Everybody's, and they all start to run together if you're not paying close attention.  It is a good story at it's core, full of twists and turns and shocking plot developments, but it sometimes felt like two disjointed stories squished into one book.  Again, some of this might be because I took six months to read the book...but it just didn't grab my attention well.  It certainly didn't help that I figured out who the mysterious masked figure was about two-thirds of the way through the book, spoiling that whole climactic reveal.  The most surprising plot development ended up involving unintentional incest, which is a plot twist that I unequivocally detest in any format (I mean, come on, no one really wants to think about that.)

Apparently this book spent over two years on Spain's best-seller list, and it is an impressive story with it's well-planned intricacies.  Unfortunately for Mr. Zafon and his many, many characters...I didn't love it.

I didn't hate it.

But I didn't love it.

Maybe I would have liked it more if I didn't take so many breaks while reading it (week-long, month-long breaks at that).  Between the happening-in-the-past plot lines and the happening-in-the-present plot lines, and the many lengthily Spanish-named characters that seemed like minor characters but were all important to the story, I just got confused.  But once I sat down with a deliberate goal to "just finish the darn book already", I actually found myself caught up in the story and rapidly turning the pages to see what happened next.

This is one of those books that I like a lot better in retrospect than I liked it while I was reading it.  So I don't know, have a go at it if you want.  I've tried not to include too many spoiler-details in my review.  My advice would be to really read it if you're going to read it.  This is definitely not a book to read lazily, and it shouldn't be read lazily.  If you can keep at it diligently from the beginning, the complex plot will probably be a blessing rather than a burden.  

And even if it is slow at times, any book that starts out with a place called "The Cemetery of Forgotten Books" is bound to be an intriguing read for a book lover, right?

Summer Reading List

I don't read as much as I would like to.  I'm not sure why.  When I was little, I read "Boxcar Children" and "Little House" books like there was no tomorrow.  (I was going to say that I ate those books for breakfast, but it seemed like a weird metaphor and not at all what I was trying to say).  Anyway, I think that college and grad school stamped the reading-for-pleasure gene out of me.  But, seeing that I'm not in school anymore, I want to try and get that reading gene back...particularly since I am in the habit of browsing bookstores during my free time, which leads to a lot of impulse purchases that get half-read before they start collecting dust on my overcrowded bookshelves.

So, because I like projects and to-do lists and similar endeavors, I have created a summer reading list.  Not just a list, rather...I've created a summer reading stack, which is now living on my dining table waiting to be devoured (there, that's a better food metaphor).  Let's have a look...

Here's a bit more information about each book, and why it has shown up on my summer reading list...

1) The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruiz Zafon - This one is on the list by default, because I borrowed this book from a coworker (at her insistence that I would like it, not because I asked for it) sometime around last October, began reading it lazily around January, and now it's getting to the point where I'm embarrassed that I still have it and must return it to her as soon as possible.  Happily, since the creation of this list two days ago, I have finished this one.  A review post will be forthcoming.

2) The Age of Magnificence: Memoirs of the Duc de Saint-Simon - A collection of memoirs of Louis XIV's court at Versailles, written by one of the courtiers.  I read bits of this book for research in 2010 for my senior thesis, and I'm super excited to read the whole thing.

3) Love Wins, by Rob Bell - Like The Shadow of the Wind, I borrowed this book from my friend Amy a shamefully long time ago, wanting to read for myself the book that caused so much theological controversy several years ago.  

4) My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me, by Hilary Winston - Like the title suggests, Hilary Winston's boyfriend wrote a book about her, a discovery which led her to write a book of her own recounting her dating woes over the years.  My friend Miranda sent it to me and said it's absolutely hilarious, if a bit raunchy from time to time.

5) Paris to the Past, by Ina Caro - I found this book randomly while browsing Barnes and Noble one day, and read it right there in the store for half an hour before buying it.  It's a travel essay that tells the history of France through weekend train rides from Paris to various cities.  A French major's dream.

6)  How to Be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life, by Melissa Hellstern - I got this for Christmas from my parents, and just haven't gotten around to reading it yet.  It's a biography-esque coffee table book about Audrey Hepburn, who I love, and who you probably love too (and who you should love, if you don't).

7) An Abundance of Katherines by John Green - A young adult novel by one of the Vlogbrothers, a pair of YouTubers whom I have followed since my sophomore year of college.  This is one of his earlier books, which I started reading but never finished.  John Green also wrote Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, both of which I have read and found to be phenomenal, particularly for their genre.

8) Celia Garth, by Gwen Bristow - I found this book completely by chance at a thrift store, and picked it up because it had my name in the title.  On the spot, I decided to start collecting books featuring lead characters with my name (I have only one other, a beautifully illustrated children's book called Celia's Island Journal which I have had since I was 3 years old.)  It's about a young woman named Celia living in colonial South Carolina, who apparently engages in espionage during the Revolutionary War or something.  Awesome.

9) Cinderella Ate My Daugther: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture, by Peggy Ornstein - About how commercialized gender stereotypes affect young girls' perceptions of themselves, what it means to be a woman, and limits their vision of who they could become.  All topics that I've been interested in for quite some time, and am eager to learn more about.

10) French Lessons, by Peter Mayle - My aunt gave me this book years ago, and I never got around to finishing it.  At the time, I think I was too young to really identify with anything happening in the book, which is written by a man who moved to southern France and learned to appreciate the various nuances of the French way of life.  I want to read it again now that I've traveled more and grown up quite a bit since I first received it.

So there's the list!  Like I said, I finished The Shadow of the Wind today, and will write a review of it in the next couple days, which I plan to do for all these books.  Let the reading begin!

A Year in Review

Today was the one-year anniversary of when I started working at my current job.  It's kind of hard to believe that it's been a year...but in some ways, it feels like I've been here way longer.  In any case, today I reached the little calendar square where, many months ago, I scribbled "You made it through a whole year!" In recent weeks, this impending date has been referred to in my mind as "cupcake day," because I decided that a fancy cupcake from the local bakery would be a fitting treat to celebrate overcoming my first year of working in ministry full-time.  Never mind that I just ate a cupcake from there three days ago, when my sister was visiting.  That is neither here nor there.

OK, so "cupcake day" turned into "cupcake-and-tiny-cannoli" day.  What can I say, it's been a long year, and I love canolis.  That's a banana split cupcake if you're interested...strawberry cake with a pineapple filling, with banana frosting, dipped in chocolate and topped with a cherry.  Soooooo delicious.  I took my little pink bakery box and settled into one of their patio chairs to reflect on the year.  I wanted to savor the moment, and really think about everything I've accomplished over the last year.  It's been a hard year in a lot of ways, but on my one-year anniversary it seemed appropriate to take note of all the positive things.

Here's what I came up with.

Over the past year, I have...

-Lost 30 lbs (which isn't work related, but is totally worth noting)

-Successfully rebuilt a derailed preschool program from the ground up

-Written and orchestrated two preschool performances

-Recruited Sunday School teachers to not only teach for a single season, but continue teaching even after their first responsibilities ended because they enjoyed it

-Learned how to be a positive force against negativity

-Learned to be okay when I can't please everyone

-Learned that sometimes people will take out more anger on me than I deserve, and that I shouldn't take it personally

-Taught kindergartners what the word "exile" means, and had them actually remember (and similarly complex components of Bible stories)

-Written, and nearly implemented, an entire summer Sunday School curriculum (work in progress)

-Become more self-confident and outgoing with people I don't know, or barely know

-Become less apologetic for being who I am

-Gotten better at handling stress

-Built good relationships with my boss and other coworkers

-Made friends in a brand new place

-Gained the trust of parents to be a spiritual leader for their children

-Built teacher relationships with the children of the church, and learned the name of every child in the church

-Been yelled at a lot and have cried a lot, but have still managed to do my job

-Built good relationships with my employees, and survived angry exit interviews of unhappy employees

-Implemented a brand new Christian Education methodology with increasing success

-Done a lot of ridiculous things (scheduled fire truck visits, ordered a zipline, arranged for bounce house rental, sung Beyonce in front of people, choreographed a space-themed Christmas musical, etc)

-Developed a strong volunteer committee

-Inspired the church to create our own Vacation Bible School, and to take ownership in it and be excited about it

-Started to encourage people to expect more from the children's ministry than they have in the past (meaning, it's more than coloring sheets and Veggie Tales)

-Taught kids about God, and encouraged their curiosity in the Bible and in God

So, despite all the hard times, all the overwhelmedness, all the troubled phone calls and facebook messages to friends and family, I'd say that it's been a pretty good year overall.  Not sure how I got here, but I think God deserves a lot of the credit.  Because, to be honest, I was kind of a mess a lot of the time.  But God works, even through my own anxiety.  And that's a pretty good deal.

On to next year!

Looking for Orion

When I was little, somewhere between the age of old-enough-to-remember and second grade, my dad took me out stargazing.

We didn't go very far from home - we just went to the backyard.  But we stood there, and we looked up at the sky, and my dad taught me how to pick out constellations.  The big dipper, the little dipper, all the usual.  But the one I most liked, and the only one I can still find to this day, was Orion.  The Hunter.

It's possible that the reason why I liked Orion so much was that it was the only one I actually saw.  I don't particularly remember any "aha!" moment with the others, but I vividly remember the pride that I felt upon locating the three stars that make up Orion's belt, and being able to put together the rest of the picture from there.  After all, a single finger pointing at the expanse of the universe isn't the most accurate of navigation methods.  Being able to see for myself what my dad was pointing at was a big deal.

For years since then, Orion is the only constellation that I have been able to locate with any degree of regularity.  I remember being able to see it from the driveway of our new house when we moved the next year, and the constellation remained with me as I grew up.  I didn't acknowledge at that time that Orion was becoming a sort of constant companion to me.  Constellations aren't exactly a frequent conversation topic among adolescents these days.

After I graduated from high school, I entered into a six-year period without stars.  Night skies dotted with celestial lights gave way to the hazy glow that hangs around big cities.  Lexington, Paris, and Dallas all hid the stars from me.  There were intervals within these years, of course, when I was met with a starry night, typically on camping trips or during late-night travel.  But those moments were filled with a more general awe than any intentional picking-out of constellations, which became lost in the unending canvas of stars spread before me.

So I lost Orion for awhile.  But when I moved here, to Murfreesboro, I found him again.

It wasn't until a few months ago, when I was getting my bags out of my car after a late work night, that I looked up and saw Orion shining dimly above my head.  In that moment, I had a flashback to that night nearly twenty years ago, when my dad pointed out the three-starred belt to me.  Missing my family dearly in a new town for a new job, I felt tears well up in my eyes at the sight of a familiar friend.

Since then, every time I find myself outside at night, I take a second to pause and find Orion.  It usually doesn't take more than a couple seconds.  It seems like, in looking for Orion, I'm looking for that which anchors me to my past.

Lately, I've come to see myself as always looking for Orion.  Not in the sense that I am looking to live in the past, but in the sense that I'm looking for simplicity.  I long for the peacefulness that I find within this small memory.  Simplicity, when the volume is turned down, the media is unplugged, and I can escape the barrage of metaphorical and audible noise which too often overrns my daily life.

Perhaps you know what I'm talking about.  Perhaps you too have a memory of such a moment, a memory so old it's more like a fleeting vision, that links you immovably to the very core of who you are.  I think everyone must have such a memory, though some people may not have discovered theirs just yet.

Now I go looking for Orion.  I don't just find him in the night sky anymore.  I find Orion on a hike through the woods.  I find Orion in films that embody the idealism of youth.  I find Orion in music that, for whatever reason, reaches within me to strike my soul.  I find Orion in hot chocolate and a warm blanket, and in long-lost favorite books pulled from used-book-store shelves.  And of course, I find Orion in the stars that gaze down from the heavens each night.

In the weeks to come, I'll be sharing these moments of simplicity and quiet beauty with you.  Now that I've gone looking for Orion with intention, I happen upon such moments everywhere.  I hope that, in hearing my stories, you will be able to share in the simple pleasures that they bring.

Because it's much easier to find Orion when you are actually looking for him.

Beautiful Thing: Director of Mysteries

Today's Beautiful Moment:

When an eight year old child saw this sign on my door...

...and read out loud, "Director of Children's...MYSTERIES???"

The music director (who had just finished teaching the boy's piano lesson) and I certainly got a kick out of it.  You have to love the fanciful nature of childhood, when it makes perfect sense to have a department of mysteries right next door to where you take piano lessons.  I felt a bit bad telling the boy that I am actually the Director of Children's MINISTRIES, and that there were no mysteries to be had - in fact, I'm not sure he bought my explanation.  

Although, I have taken to watching Sherlock on my lunch breaks...maybe it's left an air of mystery about my office.

Beautiful Thing: The Miracle Sticker

Today's beautiful thing may not seem particularly beautiful, but believe me it is.  

Behold the beauty of this Lisa Frank sticker.  Cherish it.  Respect it.  Contemplate it.

Now believe me, this is a thing of beauty - because, you see, I am 99% sure that this sticker helped me to successfully encourage six 3-4 year old's to behave.  

As the Children's Ministry Director at the church, I also direct the church preschool that meets on the property twice a week.  While I love kids, this part of my job drives me nuts sometimes.  There's just a lot to be in charge of when you're running a preschool, and it can become overwhelming for someone who hold's a Master's degree in Christian Education but has no academic training in business management.  Anyway, as the director, I hold chapel time with the kids every preschool day, so the teachers can take their breaks.  Typically, it's utter chaos.  You try getting a bunch of preschoolers to sit still and focus on a story for 20 minutes straight.  Since today was our first day back since Christmas, I was expecting an extra dose of chaos.  But somehow, the kids were well-behaved.  The good behavior of the super-mellow 2-yr-old class merited stickers, and as I was passing them out, my eyes landed on the cat sticker you see above.

Let me make something clear.  I like cats.  I also like Lisa Frank.  And, although I may be in my mid-twenties, I also like stickers.  So after handing stickers out to the kids, I peeled off the cat sticker and stuck it on my sweater.  Why?  Because I felt like it would add an air of happiness to my morning, and you'll recall that my one New Year's resolution involved pursuing happiness relentlessly.

Enter the 3- to 4-year-old class for chapel.  This is the class with the most rambunctious kids in the program, who generally require the assistance of another adult to keep from disrupting everything.  I'd already arranged for another adult to be in the room, like I have done for half the school year.  But today, things were different, and I think it's because of the sticker.

It went something like this:

"Children, do you see what Ms. Celia has on her sweater?"

"A STICKER!!!!!!!!!!"

"Would you like a sticker too?"

"YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What do you think you have to do to get a sticker?"

"BE GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And lo and behold if those children weren't good.  They were attentive, they were engaged, they were responsive, and they were able to retell the story on their own by the end of the twenty minutes.  Of course, this isn't the first time stickers have made an appearance as a good-behavior incentive.  In fact, I've given them out after almost every chapel time.  But this is the first time that I had a sticker shining forth its colorful glory from my sweater for every child to see throughout all of chapel.  And today, for the first time, every single child got a sticker at the end of class, and no one had to sit in time out at recess because they were being hellacious in a holy setting.  

So thank God for stickers.  Clearly, miracles do happen. 

Resolved.

I don't make too many New Years resolutions anymore.  I made a crazy amount of them two years ago, and while they did serve me well, I've come to the realization that well-intending to-do lists don't lead to enduring life change.  But, the ideologies behind those to-do lists can effect positive change, I believe.  With that in mind, I here proclaim my New Year's Resolution:

I resolve to pursue happiness relentlessly, and to seek beauty every day.

And, that's about it.

Now, because good intentions mean nothing unless they are put into action, I have identified a couple particular to-do list items for the year.  One of these is to attempt to find something beautiful every day (as clearly stated in the resolution).  I've recently become one of the populous of smartphone owners, meaning that I always have a camera at my disposal.  So find beauty I will, photograph it I shall, and here post it for others to see.  My hope, then, is that by appreciating the little beautiful things of my life, I'll point myself on a path of greater thankfulness and appreciation for the everyday blessings that often get overrun by stress and anxiety.

Oh, and I'm going to try to write more.  Obviously.

So check back every day for something beautiful.  In the meantime, here are some beautiful things from the first week of 2013.

Lone Elk Park (St. Louis, MO)

Elk in Winter (St. Louis, MO)

Degas and Others (St. Louis Art Museum)

A Child, through the Eyes of Monet (St. Louis Art Museum)

Art Hill (St. Louis, MO)